Welcome to the Dorm

Like most students on campus, I too am in the midst of the midterm blues. Unfortunately because of this I did not have the time this week to go on one of our regularly scheduled adventures, so instead  I'd like to deviate a little from our routine and take a second talk about a daily adventure that most of us have already experienced, that is: dorm life.

Living on a floor with 40 or so other people is just a sitcom waiting to happen, and like a sitcom, there seems to be a certain set of characters found across the board no matter what building you live in, the first of the cast of personas being the Hermit.

Bless your soul and good luck finding alone time in your room if your roommate is the floor Hermit. This person never seems to be away from the building, Their constant presence makes you wonder if they ever even go to class, and will drive you bonkers as a roommate especially if you are the type of person who wants to come home to an empty room every once in a while. The Hermit never leaves, is almost always the roommate that will yell at you for not wearing headphones or for being too loud, and is the most likely culprit for when your snacks go missing.

The second persona is the Laundry Jerk. This person is out to ruin your day and will throw your clothes on the ground (or the table) the second your machine is done, leaving no margin of error for you to come rotate your clothes on anything less than a military-strict schedule. The Laundry Jerk is not to be confused with the Laundry Sloth who seems to have no concept of the fact that the machines run on a timer, and that other people need to use them as well. The Laundry Sloth is that guy who forgets that they were doing laundry, and leaves their clothes in the dryer for 20 minutes after the cycle has stopped and basically slows down and ruins laundry day for everybody else. The Laundry Jerk and the Laundry Sloth are of course arch-enemies.

The third and final member of our merry cast of dorm stereotypes is Patient Zero. Patient Zero is always sick; they were the one that introduced the Penn State Plague to your floor back in the fourth week of classes, and they're the one that you can now recognize anywhere on campus from the distinct sound of their hacking cough. Patient Zero has made you consider the benefits of a hospital face mask and the value of hand sanitizer, and has also been threatened to be placed under quarantine by your floor should they not stop coughing on everything in the bathroom.

All these personalities and more make for a colorful living in any dorm, and certainly no day is ever quite the same. I think most would agree with me in saying that living in a dorm is an interesting experience, one that I'd rate 5 floor bonding events out of 10.

We'll get back to our regular adventures next week my friends; good luck with any midterms you have left, and enjoy the bye weekend!